"Go Further Without Going Far"

 Craic lads?

 The title for this post comes from a slogan my university uses to promote its post-graduate courses. Some people would call it dumb. Others would say 'holy shit that's retarded'. I think it's a challenge. Some day, and some day soon, I shall plant myself right here in this seat in front of this laptop and see just how far I can get without moving a muscle. I am being serious. I will eat, work, sleep, pee etc. in this one position, all day, and you can marvel at my propulsion up the career ladder as I post the results.

 More on that soon. For now, I'd better enlighten you on what I hope to do for a living. I plan to write. The emphasis there is on 'plan'. Maybe I should've put that in italics. OK I will. There. Done.

 You see, the biggest part of writing seems to revolve around planning to write. That's how it has been so far for me anyway. It's plan, plan, plan, plan doesn't seem like a word any more, plan, PLAN, am I spelling plan right? Plan... plan. And more planning. Then you fart out a draft that your tutor (if you're lucky to have one) rips to shreds and tells you to do better next time.

 To prove to you that I can plan writing effectively, here are some photographs showing me attempting to do real work.

 This is a photograph of a plot-curve hastily scribbled in the top right hand corner. If you look carefully, you can see the words 'PENETRATION' and 'CLIMAX' with arrows pointing to where the arc of the 3rd draft should be. I think that was because I had just watched This Morning when Holly Willoughby was on. Anyway, that line that goes up and down is what a plot looks like. Yep. Most films follow that plot line, unless they're done by some artistic prick like David Lynch where the line looks less like that and more like the drawing of a child with tourettes, ADHD and Parkinsons:

Enough of that. I'm getting bored. You can tell I'm bored because of how many god-damn times I wrote 'plan', then I spent 45 minutes making that David Lynch plot curve. To round off, here's a photograph of my actual first draft of the script. I slipped while taking the photograph though, so you'll have to make do with this:

Deal with it.

Conor